Thursday 08/18/2011 by sausagemahoney

LARRY KING'S PHISH NEWS & VIEWS

Red Light is shooting itself in the foot by overscheduling the northeast and ignoring its fanbase in the south and west ... If I had to pick one first-set closer to see at every show, I would choose "David Bowie" ... Let's be honest, gang, the majority of the bustout covers during summer '98 were not well rehearsed ... My favorite guest appearance at a Phish show would have to be Baby Gramps on 8/26/93 ... Fishman played better in the suit ... The art for sale in the lots, particularly the beadwork, has never been better ...

The narrations in "Forbin/Mockingbird" are always great, but for my money, nothing beats the narration during "Icculus."

I was never comfortable with the rape imagery in "Jennifer Dances" ... Maybe I'm crazy, but Vladimir Putin is a man I would trust to chaperone my daughter ... Pound for pound, no Phish song has delivered as consistently across all eras as "Bathtub Gin" ... Speaking of "Bathtub Gin," although I concede the Ventura "Gin" was a tremendous show opener, the Riverport "Gin" a week later was without question the best show opener of all time ... Riverport Ampitheater was the St. Louis-area venue where they arrested Axl Rose for assaulting a security guard ... "Waste" is a horrible lyric, but "Friday" is perhaps the single worst lyric in the history of music ... Personally, I never clap during "Stash." I find it demeaning ... The best thing Phish ever did was losing showboat percussionist Marc Daubert ...

Many Americans first grew to love Phish through the novel Run Like an Antelope ... Have you noticed that, in horror films, where there's a hippie character, he generally dies? ... Mike Gordon has tremendous calves ... I cannot be held responsible for my actions if I hear another "Loving Cup" encore ... I am fairly certain the cheesesteak I enjoyed after the third show at Bethel Woods contained neither cheese nor steak ...

Somebody needs to tell the kids sucking balloons after shows, it's just not smart, gang ... The most courteous staff I have ever dealt with at any venue were the fine people at Alpine Valley Music Center in East Troy, Wisconsin ... If you go behind the 200 section Fishman side in Alpharetta, they have a dog track with all the amenities ... The people who feel "Tweezer" peaked in 1994 and 1995 are wrong; I believe "Tweezer" has yet to peak ... The men's basketball team at Goddard College is shockingly bad ... I'm concerned that keyboard player Page McConnell is going bald.

Larry King is a retired broadcasting legend who lives in the Atlanta, Georgia metro area. He has seen 133 Phish shows since his first show at the Pickle Barrel in Killington, VT on 2/7/91. His favorite jam is the GSAC Drowned -> Rock & Roll, just like yours should be. He enjoys smoked whitefish with capers and regular, vigorous prostate massage.

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Comments

, comment by jonboy155
jonboy155 What the he'll is this. Ummmmmmm.... What?
, comment by funkalunk
funkalunk It's amazing, that's what.
, comment by TheEmu
TheEmu ^ that.
, comment by jonnywoz
jonnywoz HOW IMPORTANT IS THE OCEDOC?
, comment by lumpyheadstash
lumpyheadstash This is amazing
, comment by Harrynuggs
Harrynuggs I love the pickle barrel.
, comment by waxbanks
waxbanks :)
, comment by TennesseeJed
TennesseeJed A lot o' people don't realize what's really going on. They view life as a bunch o' unconnected incidents 'n things. They don't realize that there's this, like, lattice o' coincidence that lays on top o' everything. Give you an example; show you what I mean: suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either. It's all part of a cosmic unconsciousness.
, comment by ramkid777
ramkid777 This is the best thing I ever saw.
, comment by OlFactoryHughes
OlFactoryHughes Genius.
, comment by TannisRoot
TannisRoot hahahahahah

THERE ISNT A BETTER SINGER IN THE WORLD, THAN BOZ SCAGGS.
, comment by mfhgreyboy
mfhgreyboy This made my morning.
, comment by GHOSTLY
GHOSTLY Awesome...
, comment by sushigradepanda
sushigradepanda "Mike Gordon has tremendous calves."

LOL
, comment by 757phan
757phan Thanks for the laughs!

"Personally, I never clap during "Stash." I find it demeaning ."
, comment by Mikesgroover
Mikesgroover Brilliant.

Too bad more visitors to this site aren't familiar with Larry's old column from USA Today.
, comment by johnnyd
johnnyd Nicely done.

@Harrynuggs said:
I love the pickle barrel.
Any given weekend, that place has a far worse M/F ratio than any phish show I have ever been to, and with much more testosterone too.
Other than that, nice venue, which was a bit of a home base for me for years.
, comment by voopa
voopa Hilarious! More of these, please.
, comment by heyitsmejenni
heyitsmejenni This just made all of my dreams come true.
, comment by PhanArt
PhanArt Thephunion worthy
, comment by alpernda
alpernda Just so I don't start spreading crazy lies around town for the rest of the day, are these excerpts from Larry's column, a full piece that has a corresponding date and source, or just a smattering of quotes? Or did I just fall for an excellent little joke?!
, comment by Dressed_In_Gray
Dressed_In_Gray Best Phish.Net post of 2011.

And Mike does have nice calves.
, comment by goatsticks
goatsticks fantastic. even better once i started reading it in that horrendous monotone of his...
, comment by phearless
phearless haha dude im so confused, i gotta feeling larry king hasn't seen 133 phish shows haha this was by far the best phish.net post of this year.
, comment by Fluffyfluffyhead
Fluffyfluffyhead whoo ya!
, comment by amysfarmer
amysfarmer I have read this site for nigh on twenty years and have just finally registered an account now to praise this column. Glorious.
, comment by joechip
joechip A++
, comment by benevolution
benevolution love that mugshot too. what was he arrested for?
, comment by HenryHolland
HenryHolland Meh, Larry King was never interesting to anyone but my grandmother, not even for a nanosecond, why hide behind him for opinions like:

"Waste" is a horrible lyric

Well, no its not, it's a very nice scenario of wanting to spend time with someone important, with some really terrific rhymes. One of my favorite Phish songs.

"Friday" is perhaps the single worst lyric in the history of music ..

You know that it would be untrue
You know that I would be a liar
If I was to say to you
Girl we couldn't get much higher

(I love The Doors but damn Robbie)

Well, I'll take whatever I want
And baby, I want you, yeah
Now you give me something I need
And I want it, I got something for you

Well now
Come on, come on, come on and do it
Come on baby and do what you do
Can't get enough of your love
Can't get enough of your love

(Picking just one shitty Bad Co. lyric was tough)

Seriously, I could go on for 3 pages with shittier lyrics than Friday.
, comment by jackl
jackl LMAO! Thanks!

@HenryHolland. Relax, it's humor.

Perhaps "Larry" more properly should have said "biggest setlist buzzkill ballads" rather than simply the overly vague and overinclusive rap of "bad lyrics". I agree with you that many a good song (including many early Phish songs) has "bad" (dumb) lyrics.
, comment by andychatfield
andychatfield hi·lar·i·ous
, comment by yazoost
yazoost From THE INTERNET:

On December 20, 1971, Larry King was arrested in Miami, Florida, and charged with grand larceny over his dealings with Louis Wolfson, a financier of questionable reputation. Although the details of the events are somewhat murky, apparently King was peddling his influence with the incoming US Attorney General, John Mitchell, suggesting to Wolfson that he could arrange an investigation that would clear Wolfson’s name. (Wolfson was in prison for selling unregistered stocks.) According to Wolfson, Wolfson gave King a total of $48,000, but King did not deliver Mitchell’s assistance. Wolfson pursued the larceny charge against King, but the statute of limitations had run out on the charges, so King was never tried; however, he did plead no contest to one count of passing bad checks in relation to the scandal.
, comment by Doctor_Smarty
Doctor_Smarty I'll take a "Loving Cup" encore over the menacing prospect of a dozen more "Showprise" encores any day of the week.
, comment by Fluffhead
Fluffhead This is the single most bizarre bit I've ever read in all the years of Phish.Net.

Thank you.
, comment by tmwsiy
tmwsiy Brilliant, brilliant work.

Loved reading it the first time, the second time, the third time, and I'll probably read it again.
, comment by sharininthegroove09
sharininthegroove09 Hahaha that was insane. In the best way possible. Insane like the 12.29.94 Bowie.

"The people who feel "Tweezer" peaked in 1994 and 1995 are wrong; I believe "Tweezer" has yet to peak"

Now that would be real nice if that turned out to be true!

, comment by TimberCarini
TimberCarini "Hello from Albany, your on the air.... Tell me something I don't know!"
-Vintage Larry
, comment by jugglerswithfire
jugglerswithfire Thank you for a great laugh on a tough day
, comment by Confucius
Confucius WOW - That is some sort of article there!
Props to Larry! Legend on radio and TV as well as a favorite of divorce attorneys
, comment by forbin1
forbin1 at least I'm not the only one who enjoys a vigorous prostate massage..
, comment by 23932173217hy
23932173217hy @forbin1 said:
at least I'm not the only one who enjoys a vigorous prostate massage..
and I'm not the only one to not clap after stash..... ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
, comment by TNTNeal
TNTNeal This is a joke, people. Larry King has obviously not been to 133 Phish shows.
, comment by roybelly
roybelly I'm pretty sure he was arrested for passing fake scripts to get benzedrine inhalers...in china town

...although I was told this by a friend who is connected to the venue, I don't really have any "insider" information
, comment by AugustWest2001
AugustWest2001 Garlique anyone? Ester-c, perhaps?
, comment by dohpless
dohpless Loving Cup > Larry King reprise
, comment by kipmat
kipmat So, Larry, what's your opinion on webcasts? ;)
, comment by johnnyd
johnnyd @phearless said:
haha dude im so confused, i gotta feeling larry king hasn't seen 133 phish shows...
Yeah, I was sure he was up closer to 180...
, comment by aj30302112
aj30302112 The author has removed all of the text from their comment
, comment by finch460
finch460 *clap clap clap*

I don't find that demeaning.

PS - Page isn't balding. His forehead has simply become more prominent over the years. He gets away with that, since everywhere he goes seems to be 'Page's House.'
, comment by robertchampion
robertchampion I'm speechless....
, comment by listentomorejazz
listentomorejazz one of the best things ever.
, comment by PYITE1984
PYITE1984 i like the pickle barrel also :-D
, comment by LawnBoy0925
LawnBoy0925 @HenryHollins..... first song Robbie ever wrote. #1 hit. you're a moron.
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